


Luck be a Lady

by Commandership



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - 1930s, Drug Dealing, Gambling, Gangsters, Multi, Religion, Salvation Army
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-14
Updated: 2014-10-03
Packaged: 2018-01-24 17:58:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1614137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Commandership/pseuds/Commandership
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Smith family have a long, respectable criminal past, Erwin Smith is no different. But, poor sinner that he is, he begins to seek help in the church. Which has absolutely nothing to do with Captain Levi's ass in his uniform trousers. THIS STORY IS UP FOR ADOPTION, SHOULD ANYONE WANT IT</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story of love, tragedy and hot shower scenes. I haven't actually written any really yaoi scenes yet, because Erwin and Levi are saving themselves for marriage, but I'm sure that I'll change my mind and write the smuttiest, dirtiest, sexiest scene I could think of, all while displaying my porn face. In case you haven't guessed, this is not me writting this, but my perverted Squad Leader Hange, who likes the idea of Levi and Erwin thrusting against each other and really DESPERATELY wants to read some smut. In fact, she'd like to make a suggestion. That beautiful, steamy fencing scene you wrote for your book? Replace the characters with Erwin and Levi. And make them naked. Butt naked. It'll be hot. Like, really hot.
> 
> The author accepts no responsibility for the above comments. She leaves Squad Leader Hange doing Heavy Breathing and popping tablets in the corner of a college classroom whispering 'Yaoi... Yaoi...'

Luck be a Lady  
Erwin Smith had not signed up for this. He had not signed up for criminal interrogation and he had most definitely not signed up for that bastard cop to knock seven types of brick dust out of him, trying to get him to admit to something he had told them over and over he hadn’t done.  
He’d been released a few hours ago, because of a lack of evidence but not before the bastard had got a few more punches in. He pressed a cold flannel to the quickly purpling bruise on his left temple and smiled ruefully. It wasn’t the first time he’d been arrested, and it wouldn’t be the last. He was a criminal after all. It was an occupational hazard.  
He didn’t mind getting beat up so much anyway, the bruises gave him a little more gravitas in his profession, it was just getting them that was distastefully messy. Those cops were idiots anyway, they always went for the face, whereas any criminal worth his salt knew to go for the stomach and groin. The bruises didn’t show but boy did they hurt. Erwin mused on this as he grabbed the bottle of liquid from the side of his bed and poured a sizable quantity down his throat. It wasn’t whisky and it wasn’t vodka, but it was ninety percent proof, and helpfully looked like water, so if anymore of the pigs knocked on his door nothing looked suspicious. It was if they tasted it that the trouble came. Erwin intensely disliked rolling unconscious policemen down the stairs of his apartment building. It was dreadfully messy.  
He lay back and abandoned himself to his headache.  
…  
The Smith family had a long, respectable criminal background.   
Erwin had been taught the trade by his father, a smuggler back in the days of prohibition. He smuggled nearly 2 million dollars’ worth of good Scotch whisky into Chicago and Erwin had learned to lie to the police by the time he was five.   
If he was being honest, his daddy was probably his idol. The man had never once been caught, he was a master at making the paper trail say what he wanted it to say. Sure he, like Erwin, had been taken downtown and roughed up every once in a while when the fat pigs actually got up off their asses and decided to pick on poor innocent criminals, but nothing had ever been attributed to him, he had never stood in the dock and nobody who worked for him ever squealed.  
The Smiths were an old fashioned family firm. Even Erwin’s momma had been involved, that woman had invented half the schemes his daddy had used to get whisky into America. She had been a tactical genius, even Erwin had used her schemes when he took over the business. But prohibition had ended four years ago now, and Erwin had had to find a new way to make money. There was a simple answer to that, gambling.  
Gambling had been illegal in Chicago for God knew how long, but there were men willing to pay if they could play and not get caught, and that was what Erwin specialised in. His daddy’s business had made a loss for four years before Erwin took it over, but he’d bought a few clubs, started a floating crap game, and the fat cats had come to him begging for more. Before long the money was rolling in and it had stayed that way.  
Yes, Erwin mused, life was not too bad.  
…  
Unfortunately, his pleasant trip down memory lane was halted by the shrill ring of the telephone. He picked it up and maintained silence while listening for the person on the end.  
‘Erwin, is that you?’ Quavered a voice on the other end of the line. ‘It’s Nanaba.’  
He sat up in bed and smiled. ‘What’s wrong?’  
Nanaba hiccupped and sniffed down the line. ‘It’s Mike, they… they picked him up last night drunk and, and I don’t have enough money to pay the fine, and they won’t let him come home if I don’t pay the fine. Come help me, Erwin, I’m scared.’ Another sob.  
‘Alright Nanaba, I’m on my way.’ He hung up the phone, grabbed his keys and neatly flicked his trilby onto his blonde hair, before running down the stairs and taking the quickest route downtown.  
…  
Erwin had to admit, Nanaba was wasted working for him. A finer actor he had never met, even better Nanaba was perfectly happy to play a guy or a girl, meaning that right now, they would be in a skirt, sobbing a police sergeant into sympathy but tomorrow Erwin would have them in a suit and trilby barking for punters at his poker club. In fact, he’d once seen Nanaba talk someone into believing they were the distraught wife of someone who needed a policeman’s help just far enough round the corner that forty or so men couldn’t be heard leaving a club, whilst wearing a suit and trilby.   
Erwin had no idea how he did it, but Mike was one lucky guy when he managed to talk that kid into marrying him.  
To be fair, they went well together. Mike was also an actor, though he only had one routine, his ‘drunk asshole’. The deal was that Mike would hang around outside wherever the floating craps game was being held. If he thought he saw a cop become a little too interested, he would smack himself in the face with a handful of whiskey, stagger up to them and become just annoying enough that they’d shove him in a cell for the night. Next morning, Nanaba would dress up as his distraught wife, make a scene at the police station, call Erwin for help and pocket at least a dozen police cadet files.  
They were useful things to have, Erwin needed to know who he’d be bribing in future.  
When he arrived, Nanaba flung themselves into his arms, sobbing loudly. ‘Oh Erwin, it’s so terrible, they won’t let me take him home!’ They laid their head on his shoulder and whispered ‘He’s fine, their making him go to some mission or something for his drinking.’  
Erwin rolled his eyes. Him inside a church? He’d have to concentrate on not bursting into flame…  
…  
Unfortunately, any plans he might have had about skipping out on the church service and hitting up the nearest gin-joint were dashed when a constable offered to accompany them to the meeting. Sullenly and, in Mike’s case, drunkenly, they made their way down 5th avenue to the Sacred Heart Sinner’s Mission, the pace becoming noticeably slower as they approached the door. Unfortunately, their escort still had his beady eye trained on them as they reached the door, meaning they had to go in.   
Erwin wandered into a stark white room, with a book shelf, several chairs and a very old man sat snoozing behind the desk.  
‘Good, he’s asleep.’ Whispered Nanaba, shifting uncomfortably. ‘Let’s wait until holy Joe out there gets his ass in gear and then hit the nearest bar. I think this corset is going to kill me.’  
Mike sneaked an arm around his spouse’s waist. ‘You’re wearing the corset? The one with the whalebones?’  
‘Course I am, what kinda doll do you take me for? I’m a classy dame!’  
‘Sure you are.’ Mike said, dropping his hand a little lower ‘I’m gonna make you eat those words…’  
‘For god’s sake you two, we’re in a church.’ Erwin snapped, reaching for his cigarette case ‘It’s been less than twenty four hours since you last saw each other, so keep it in your damn pants.’  
‘Oh I don’t know.’ Came a cool voice from behind them. Erwin whirled around to see a short man in a red uniform staring at him with cool grey eyes. ‘The good Lord said that matrimony was a holy state, for the procreation of children. I don’t have a problem with what they’re doing, but smoking is plain disgusting.’ The man reached forward and plucked the cigarette from between Erwin’s lips. ‘So cut it out.’  
He moved across the room and pulled a slim notebook from a bookcase. ‘I need your names for the register.’ He snapped, bad temperedly. Mike gave his and Nanaba’s names as Mr and Mrs Zacharias, as he usually did despite the tongue lashings it earning him, but Erwin hesitated over giving his real name. He didn’t imagine it could do much harm, it had been so long since he’d used even his family name in connection with the business.  
‘Erwin Smith.’  
He thought he saw the man go still for a second, but when he blinked the man was finishing the last sweeping curve of his name. ‘Fine. The service starts in ten minutes, and I don’t think the policeman outside is going to be going away before that, so you might as well stay. Would you like a cup of coffee while we wait for the rest of the congregation?’  
Erwin, looking into the man’s scowling face, decided he couldn’t be sure if the man would spit in it or not and internally declined. ‘I’d settle for your name.’  
The scowl deepened but he replied ‘Captain Levi.’  
…  
Nearly two hours later, the trio stumbled into Erwin’s apartment groaning and, in Nanaba’s case, moaning about their shoes, corset and the restriction of wearing a skirt.  
Erwin almost ran to the kitchen, pulling out the biggest bottle of liquor he could find and three tumblers. He returned to the living room a moment later to find Mike and Nanaba making out on his couch.   
‘For God’s sake you two, can you not keep your hands off each other for longer than ten minutes?’ He grouched, filling his tumbler to just below the brim. ‘Can we not be decent human beings and get drunk without public nudity?’  
Mike sat up and ran his hand carefully through his hair, ignoring Nanaba’s insistent pulling on his tie. ‘You just want us out so you can fantasise about that little holy Joe with the bad attitude.’  
Erwin drained his glass and poured himself another. ‘That is a filthy lie.’ He said calmly. ‘You wanna watch your mouth Mr Zacharias. Remember who it is who keeps you in apartments and whalebone corsets.’  
Mike grinned ‘I remember who it is keeps landing me in the cells.’  
‘And who bails you out?’ Said Erwin triumphantly ‘Me. The good Samaritan. Now go on, get out. I don’t know what’s in Nanaba’s pants, and I don’t particularly want to find out.’  
Both grinning, his friends left. Erwin leant back against the arm of the couch. Mike hadn’t exactly been wrong about the captain, he’d struck a chord with Erwin that he didn’t think it was possible to strike.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry this took so long...

Erwin went to ten mass readings in total before he spoke to Levi again. Unfortunately, he was smoking at the time.  
‘Didn’t I tell you that’s disgusting?’ He heard the lazy drawl behind him, as Levi made his way in front of Erwin. Levi made to grab the cigarette out of his mouth, but Erwin bit on the end so he couldn’t pull it out.  
‘What’s wrong with smoking? Never hurt nobody.’ He asked defiantly, deciding to get Levi riled up in the hope that he might stay longer. Levi scowled and stared up at him from under his fringe.  
‘It’s revolting, it drops ash all over the floor and it’s me has to clean it up!’  
‘Is it now?’ Said Erwin thoughtfully, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth and neatly depositing the ash in the gutter. ‘I thought that sort of thing was for dames…’  
He gleefully watched the colour rise in Levi’s face. ‘There’s nothing girly about hygiene.’ Levi snapped. He watched Erwin take another drag and blow a cloud of acrid grey smoke into the air. He lowered his voice ‘I’ll let you smoke in here on one condition.’  
‘And what might that be, Captain?’ Erwin asked, pushing his hat out of his eyes and turning his sky blue gaze on the little Captain.  
Levi quickly checked over shoulder. ‘Give me one.’  
Erwin raised an eyebrow but handed a cigarette and his box of matches over. He watched Levi light up and take a drag, leaning back against the wall beside Erwin.  
‘So,’ Erwin said, after a few moments of silence ‘What’s a white-as-snow Captain doing smoking illegal import with an old sinner?’  
Levi breathed out through his nose, a perfect stream of smoke. ‘These aren’t illegal, they’re Players. Common as they come, don’t try to impress me, you’ll just end up looking like an idiot.’ He inhaled again and shrugged ‘Anyway, how do you know this isn’t a cunning ruse to make you come to church every day?’  
Erwin smiled ‘Why would you waste such a brilliant plan on someone who’s already making it to this dive every day?’  
Levi shrugged one arm. ‘Touché.’  
They smoked on in peace for a few minutes before Levi took a deep breath as if he’d been preparing to say something. Erwin turned expectantly to find Levi looking intently at him.  
‘You look at me all the time. I’ve watched you during the mass, you never pay attention, you just look at me. Why?’  
Erwin leaned back against the wall, considering his answer. He had two choices, he could either lie or he could man up and tell Levi about his pathetic little crush. Either way it would be a leap of faith. He opened his mouth.  
‘Maybe-’ He coughed to clear the smoke from his throat and to cover his embarrassment at being subjected to Levi’s unflinching grey gaze. ‘Maybe I like what I see.’  
Levi nodded a little, looking almost thoughtful. And that was all the warning Erwin got before there was a hand on the back of his neck pulling him into a fierce, tobacco-flavoured kiss. A few seconds later, the grip on the back of his head was released and Erwin surfaced feeling slightly dazed.  
‘Jesus Captain, give a guy some warning,’ He mumbled as he watched Levi lick his lips and throw the end of his cigarette into the gutter. The little captain scowled up at him.  
‘Do not take the Lord’s name in vain, asshole. Ain’t you never read the bible?’ Erwin had the sensation he was being teased. ‘Mass is starting half an hour early tomorrow, for communion.’ Levi paused on the steps and turned back to Erwin, taking off his hat and smiling cheekily ‘Come along, if you still like what you see.’ Before disappearing inside.  
…  
Erwin wandered home with a stupid smile on his face. Miraculously, he reached his apartment unscathed and managed to collapsed on his couch.  
He sat there for a few moments, thinking about what he was going to do. Eventually he settled on reaching for the bottle on the table beside him.  
…  
He was awoken at an ungodly hour by an erratic series of knocks on the door of his apartment. He stayed where he was. If it was who he thought it was, they’d have picked the lock in a few minutes.  
Sure enough, he heard the tell tale scrape of a pick in the door lock and Hange tried to burst through the door. Tried, because Erwin had put the chain on. He heard Hange push at the door a few more times before they apparently conceded defeat.  
‘Erwin, come and open the door. I have exciting news!’ Floated down the hall to where he was lying face down on the carpet of the living room. Erwin ground his face into the floor in an attempt to disappear through it.  
‘Have you discovered a foolproof hangover cure?’ He slurred back  
‘No, but-‘  
‘Then get lost.’  
‘Aw c’mon Erwin, let me in!’ Silence ‘It’s about that little Salvation Army guy you like.’  
Erwin growled into the carpet, wondering just how many people Mike had told, before unsteadily getting up. He stumbled over to the door and pulled it open to reveal Hange Zoe, bootlegger extraordinaire.   
‘What?’ He snapped, in their face. They gave him a cheerful smile.  
‘Really sir, would it have killed you to brush your teeth this morning?’  
Hange placed a hand on his chest and pushed him backwards into the apartment.  
‘I’m not an alcoholic.’ Erwin said quickly, anticipating Hange’s next remark.  
‘So you tell me every week.’ Hange said cheerfully, moving through the apartment opening cupboards.  
Erwin accepted his fate and slouched back to the living room.  
He’d met Hange during the prohibition days, Hange had arrived from England with three cases full of whisky which she had very quickly sold to Erwin. They’d made about a $1000 in profit and had got drunk for three days straight. Hange had been in his employ ever since. After the end of Prohibition there had been little use for them, but their skill at chemistry had been useful in the shadier aspects of Erwin’s business and there had been no talk about them being fired. Now with their own army of devoted underlings, Hange’s time was usually split between their ‘lab’ (a small room above a grocery store) and Erwin’s apartment sobering him up.  
A cup of coal tar and chicory was waved in front of his face.   
‘Coffee’ He heard Hange’s voice say. He severely doubted the claim, but took the mug anyway, it wasn’t worth insulting Hange.  
‘Is Moblit okay with you leaving this early in the morning?’ He asked in an effort to rile them into leaving him alone.  
Hange just smiled   
‘You know very well he’s not going to be home for a few hours yet.’ Moblit was deputy in charge of Hange’s operations. Generally, he spent the night fixing whatever chemical explosions and/or collateral damage that Hange had caused during the day. Erwin had no idea how they even managed to have a romantic relationship but if a three year track record was anything to go by, it worked.  
‘So is there a reason you decided to come wake me up at this ungodly hour?’ He asked, sipping on the evil brew. It was gross but it sobered him up quick.  
Hange waggled their eyebrows suggestively ‘A little bird told me that you’ve met someone.’  
Erwin raised an eyebrow and winced at the pain it sent through his head. ‘You’re going to have to be more specific. I meet lots of people.’  
Hange scowled and hit him over the head ‘You know that isn’t what I mean. I heard you were Necking some little bible basher over at the church on fifth.’  
‘So what if I was?’  
They squealed and clapped their hands ‘We can have a double wedding!’  
Erwin gaped at them ‘I’m going to go call Moblit, you’re not supposed to take what you make Hange, I’ve told you that stuff’s bad for you…’  
Hange pouted ‘I haven’t! Look, what I came here to tell you is, I’m happy for you, but everyone knows, ok? Everyone. Like, the whole of Chicago.’  
‘So?’  
‘So be careful. You aren’t exactly the most popular guy on the street right now and most people wouldn’t object to bashing a bible basher, so just be careful.’  
Erwin stood up and stumbled into the kitchen ‘I’m always careful.’  
…  
Despite being Chicago’s most prolific drug dealer, gambling den owner, bet rigger, book maker, bootlegger and piano player, Erwin actually had very few sins. Sure he liked the booze, and he didn’t mind a flutter every now and then, but very, very few for a man in his position.  
Which was why he was slightly confused by his desire to sober up in time to get down to the Mission to spend an hour being told that he was a filthy, a-moral sinner.   
It wasn’t to do with Captain Levi’s ass. At all.  
What made it all the more annoying was the fact that, half way through that day’s mass, he realised that what Levi had told him earlier was right. He did just sit there staring at Levi, he had no idea what the hell the Pastor was talking about. With his luck probably sexual deviance.  
…  
As has been established, Erwin was no rookie. So when some guy bumped into him as he was turning the corner of fifth, it only took a few milliseconds for him to realise that said guy now had his wallet. It took even less time for him to get a grip on the fella’s arm that caused bones to crunch. Erwin held out his hand to the guy, who he could now see was barely more than a teenager.  
‘Wallet.’ He said pleasantly. Always give the option of being friends.  
The terrified kid handed Erwin’s wallet back and took off. Erwin watched curiously after him for a few moments, it had been a slick take, if the kid was freelance right now… he might make some enquiries. However, looking down at his wallet, he realised that the kid wasn’t freelance. The piece of paper sticking out from the shabby leather had a unicorn drawn on it. Erwin sighed. He’d been looking forward to collapsing on the couch with a book and his great friend Jack Daniels. Instead, he performed his customary scan of the street, keeping an eye out for cops and idiots. Finding none, he wandered carefully into the next street and paused to tie his shoelace outside Stohess Gentlemen’s club.  
There was no whisper, nothing to indicate that he was being watched, but as the piece of paper emblazoned with the Unicorn slipped quietly from Erwin’s sleeve, the door of the club opened very slowly.  
Erwin performed one last check of his surroundings and slipped into the dark space.


End file.
